Too Long never blog le..ha..paisei

Dear all,

This is kinda an updating entry, so that you ppl actually see something new when you hit my blog..ha..and not just check whether got juicy news on the cbox or not..[where there ISN'T any juicy news of course]

Yepp..like i mentioned before, i'm in the middle of my midterms, just had one on monday, today is wednesday, and Mech Engine on friday, and Computing on coming monday, and Religion on coming tuesday..so it really does not let up, so i'll be trying to squeeeeze in little patches of prayer time to make sure that He is with me now..ha..

Actually kinda felt empowered last night as i was studying this mech engine chapter that i was originally qt blurr over..ha..and then in the afternoon i managed to breakthrough and grab the answer and the winning program [figuratively speaking] that managed to complete the project i was working on! ha..but it is a miracle by itself manz..

The project was originally due on monday, so i worked on it on sunday, and was satisfied with the program that i made, so i just left it as it is..then i heard a news that there was a amendment to the project so i was like cursing and swearing [again, figuratively speaking] and had to make my way to work on it again on tuesday evening, cos there was a time extension of a measly day to work on it. Turns out that my program was NOT PERFECT!!!! ha..in fact it had such a huge error in it that it took me another hour to model my program to output exactly what the prof's one did. Ha..so the time extension that i was cursing/pissed about turned out to be a miracle from God..ha..Thank God..and after that, i got my breakthrough in understanding the ridiculously 'riddle-like' question that was attached to the project, which if i had not gotten it, our group of 'Singapore-allied-coalition against Falk' [Falk is the prof] would have taken another hour figuring it out..ha..

yepp..so all in all, this is a pretty trying period, but God is still with me, He has granted me another victory in Math 216, and several other minor victory through other people around me whom i helped in math [like i helped them study math, then i hear about their paper and i get the feeling of satisfaction..hmmm..maybe i should consider being a tuition teacher..hah..]

But i tell you guys, God is seriously working through many people around us. For example, i can just look and XiaoYan and just be impressed at her learning rate; she only took 3 days of cramming and i was able to bring her up to step with the rest of the class, and Lynn who basically gritted her teeth and tahan through the harsh study hours with us, and fought a un-ending battle against her stomach flu which is a terrible experience if you haven't ever had one before. Man..just look at these 2 powerful girls i just feel that 1 -i'm so lucky that i'm not in their shoes and 2- that i wonder if i would have done as well if i WERE in their shoes..seriously, having them near is good in the sense that i can see and learn from them sia..ha..must gambatte for my mech engine le..ha..can't lose to them can i? ha..or else they can go look for another math Shi Fu le..ha..kidding..you 2 rawk!

and of course my dear small group, all cool dudes who basically make my life here a more 'american' experience, or else i would just be hanging around the singaporean bunch..ha..yepp..you guys rock too! and the sharing you guys are prepared to do..man..i just feel so insignificant and uncontributive in small group! ha..all i can do is to contribute some insights i have about the bible..which comes to a little problem i realised recently..

I've come to a realization that my faith have been built completely on my knowledge of what happened. For example, I can confess truthfully that Jesus was crucified around 30-40 CE by Pontius Pilate, that he taught the coming of the Kingdom of heaven, and he DID perform several acts of miracles that people find difficult to explain [healings] and he was a social liberator of women and kids, and he loved people. Theologically, i believe that He bore our sins on the cross, that he actually called his disciples not only to join him, follow him, but to participate in the cup of bitterness that he was partaking. That we are not only to respect/worship him for bearing our sins on that cross at Calvary, that we were INVITED to join him on the cross, that we were meant to be there too, all for the salvation of the common good.

But believing does not translate to doing, and while i can preach, i can give insights to the bible better than most people [i guess] i'm not all that hot about doing it myself..like several stuff i can point out to people but once they look at me, i seriously dun think that they can see a role model in me..which is what bugs me..does that make me hypocritical? so that's what i admire when i see someone preaching, not because i don't have their insights/knowledge, but because of their courage to put their lives out in view and scrutiny of people, and risk being criticised when they meet their moments of weakness. It is scary, and even scarier if people brand you as hypocritical when you are doing the good of pointing out what is righteous to their eyes. Whether they believe it or follow it is up to their sense of what is righteous anyway. Why should the life of the one to point it out be a concern?

For example, if a criminal told you to love one another, but he is guilty of a devious crime of hate, would you just throw away his words as hypocritical words, or would you just absorb what he says, cos it is true and righteous to love one another? Maybe we should consider everything we see and hear, and absorb it according as how it applies to ourselves, rather than be outward looking for justifications.

hah..guess that is a rather long update too..ha..hope you guys are still reading this blog! hah..love you guys..what would i do with this blog?! ha..Praise God! Whoever you are!

-endz- God does not care who you are or what you did; When you meet Him in heaven, He will give you a secret name and a new identity in Him! (go read Revelations!) God forgives and forgets all!