Wierd old me

I've lived with myself for almost 22 years. I'm kinda sick of myself..haha..maybe i wished i would not live with myself for the 22 years, but i'm stuck with myself..

Anyway, back to the subject of wierd old me..

I remember so many times i complain that i am lonely, bored, and sometimes even, i make the remark that people only approach me with homework that they did not know how to do. [and sometimes i just shrug and say i don't know either]

But the point is there. all the while i say people avoid me, the fact is i avoid people too..

The point is not an apologetic one though..i avoid people for a reason, that crowds ick me, i hate crowds, much less crowdy places, much less a party where i'll be left sitting alone.

But i crave company, a friend or two, who would sit with me and talk to me, and make the crowd disappear. If i were at a party, with a good friend beside me, i would just feel like the room was empty and it's just the 2 of us talking.

Oh wells, strange old me.

And as i am blogging, strange old 22 yr old me is missing out on a block party [wad kinda party is a block party anyway], just as i missed out on a snowball fight yesternight, and wad nots. And wierd old me is going to church, alone, and feeling awkward in the church alone .. again..bored and same old strange old me.

Cheers