Back In Singapore

Hey Guyz

Well, i've been back for a couple of weeks already. So i'd think i can give a fair comment about how i'm doing back in Singapore, spiritually.

For one, things simply do not change just because of your geographic position. That much i learnt since i arrived in America and found myself pretty much the same.

Adapting back to church and cell group taks pretty much actually. I had not realised that it took that much. Some things feels natural, as though i never left it behind, while some things have changed. I guess that goes for almost everything else too..

One of the problems i foresaw was the practice of speaking in tongues in my cell group. For someone who had not practiced it much over 8 months, i feel that this worry is well justified, however, it proved to be the least of my worries, cos it feels like i've simply picked off where i left it last. Or to put it in another way, it's as awkward as ever.

Other conceptual problems/conflicts that i see now are much tougher to handle. Things like the concept of prayer, the concept of serving God, as well as the concept of being a christian.

I still believe in the same God, i still feel like i would want to contribute to a better world as God envisions it. I still believe that God is all powerful and that He does miracles in our lives everyday. But i also believe that He does so despite our praying, not because of our prayer.

I still believe that God does not need us to serve. That He has plans that are in place that we cannot understand, and that we should not be so prideful to believe that we are the key to bringing forth the plan.

And i still want to believe that being a christian means to be God fearing, not fear the world, and to live life as well as you can, guided by the teachings that Jesus gave us through the Gospel. That all God wants is for us to obey his Commandments, and to guide others to follow His commandments and appreciate what He has given them, regardless of whether they know that it came from Him or not.

And i guess that basically places me out of the christian denomination complete..haha..so wierd. I've grown out of the church that i was 'born' in. even out of any church out there. So perhaps i'm simply in the midst of finding my world view.

And hopefully i remain persistant in pursuing the truth and accepting it. And God willing, i'll be able to find it too. Within my lifetime. Kinda like a life quest. Yepps. So that's Brian Wang Chongyu back in Singapore. Confused, uncomfortable but complacent, and irresponsibly silent about sharing that except through this blog. Just like anyone else out there. Just more honest. i hope..

Cheers